My children and me! Need advice on my life..no one else to talk to..what to do?

I just need some honest helpful opinions and advice. I can't talk to anyone about this because they all have ulterior motives for saying what they say. Anyhow the story is I'm 23, pregnant, and I already have one child. My first baby is with my husband who I've been married to 5 years, but separated for 2. So the second baby's father is someone who I really don't even get along with and don't want to be with...it was the hugest mistake I've ever made to sleep with him...but he does want to be in the child's life and is trying to help me out. Now...I've moved temporarily back in with my mother...who I don't get along with at all(every day I feel like all I want to do is cry). but the baby's father is begging me to come back and live with him. My ex husband knows about the situation and says he wants to get back together with me so he can be with his daughter and he will also help me with the new one. But he doesn't want to now...he wants to wait till after the baby is born. I'm so lost right now because what I really want is to try to raise these kids on my own...finish school and be by myself. But I feel like A) Is this fair to the dads when they both want to be with their kids? B) Will I even be able to do it by myself?





I know in my heart that if I got back with my ex I wouldn't be happy, but is it fair to my kids if they don't have a father because I don't like the dads?





I'm just trying to figure out what to do that's fair and right to everyone involved, most of all the kids. Advice? My children and me! Need advice on my life..no one else to talk to..what to do?
Ok, you have made some mistakes, but we all do. It is going to get better. Your kids will have a father, regardless if you get back with either of them men or not. If these men truly mean it when they say they want to help you with the kids and be are part of their lives they will do it regardless of where you live. Being by yourself right now might just be the best decision. You need to decide what it is that you want and need. You will be able to do it by yourself, although you won't really be all alone. You will have help. Going back to school is a great idea. So many more doors open when you have the right education. Take care of yourself, and those babies. Best of luck to you.My children and me! Need advice on my life..no one else to talk to..what to do?
What makes you happy will make your kids happy!!
Stay at your mom's until you finish school and get a better paying job, suck it up because you have to make the sacrifice for a better future for you and your kids. The dads can still be a part of the kids life, they can come over to visit and help you financially. Be strong for you and your kids, this is only a little bump you have to overcome, but be positive and work on having a better future. Although you don't get a long with your job you do have to thank her for letting you move back in.
Why can't you live on your own, go to school, raise the kids on your own. But both fathers can still be involved in the children lives. They don't need to be involved in your life, just the children. Let them come get the kids when they want to spend time with their own child. You do not need to live with any guy for the sake of either child. You can live your life without men in them...but have the father of the children ONLY be in the children's lifes.
I agree with the above three answers(if i'm the 4th?). And remember that your children only know-and will know-you as ';home';. Dad will be a weekly visitor who supports them Partially financially and Partially emotionally..you will be the constant in their lives.And both fathers obviously want to be in your lives. Fathers-good ones only-are absolutely essential in their kids lives, even if the parents are seperated. And some step-fathers turn out to be more emotionally attached, and better father-figure role models than the actual biological fathers themselves. I think the key to keeping it balanced is not too many coming into and out of their lives. If neither of these men are what you personally want, its ok, so long as they be the father of their child. It is a good idea right now for you to try to find some peace and stay put..relax, your mom will help you with your daughter now that you are pregnant, and with your baby when its born, and this will give you some time to figure out what to do to get back on your feet once the baby is born, to find a place of your own. With your mom's help and the help of the fathers, you will be able to manage being on your own. Other women somehow manage without any help at all remember..you are one of the luckier ones in the same predicament as yours...Try to mend things with your mom and try to talk honestly with the fathers and let them know you will need and appreciate their help with the children..GL

dermalogica