When it comes to needing advice on real life issues, do people actually utilize the advice?

In my experience, people often ask for advice, and I give them an answer. A lot of the time, they're like ';I know, I know.'; or ';You're totally right';. And a lot of the time, they don't act on it. They don't use the advice. AT ALL. Do you think people ask for advice on certain issues, such as romantic relationships, just to hear themselves talk and get a boost out of hearing other people talk about it too? Like, they've already got their mind made up on what they're going to do... Or do you think they actually take the advice that people give to them? Personally, I'm afraid of asking for advice on some of the things that cause me stress because I think subconsciously I don't really want the advice.When it comes to needing advice on real life issues, do people actually utilize the advice?
Good question. I have learned that I like advise when I actually ask for it. But just becoz i GOT the advise, or ASKED for it, does not mean I am going to follow it. But I will surely listen.





In contradiction, If I just state my problem, and people just hear it and don't give advise, then I miss getting advise. And there are times, when I am Just stating my problem and not really looking for advise, and people pour their advise on me, then I don't like it. So, yes, I am complex!!! :)





And why should expect that they follow others advise? Ultimately, it is our decision if we want to or not. No one is in our shoes but we ourselves. No one knows the nuances of a situation, and the various textures of our feelings, but we ourselves. So we are ultimately in the best place to decide what we should be doing. Getting thoughts from others gives me food for thought, a different perspective, and I might actually end up following their advise too if it clicks with me, and if I am *ready* for it (which is very imp.).





A lot of times we aren't ';ready'; to make a change. Eg. I love a guy who doesn't return my love. I am stuck becoz I truly want him. Many people say ';move on...he is not worth it';...and they give their reasons, but if I am not ';ready'; to move on, if I am not ';ready'; to give up, I will end up not listening to that advise. It does not mean their advise has gone waste. Everyone's advise makes an overall impression. But the final readiness has to come from within us.





You are right, that's the subconscious thing that you mentioned. Deep inside, we sometimes know what we really feeling like doing. But becoz we are facing an issue and are at a crossroads, and certain other parts of us are raising a red flag sayng ';alert! alert! we have a problem';, we are on alert, and we ask people for advise to be sure, to test, to open our eyes, to find confirmaton, or to be told we are wrong. In the end, people's opinons are their opinions. Everyone gives advise from their own worldview, and based on their own experiences.





And there are times, when I absolutely am looking for advise becoz I am completely LOST. During that time, when a trusted friend or someone else advises me, I will do exactly as they say. Eg. once I asked a friend ';can I be mad at him, or shd I just stay quiet';. He said ';let him know, but say it in a calm way';. I exactly followed that advise, becoz I was sincerely in a bind over how to react.





In another scenario, when I felt like quitting my job, a lot of people advised me not to and to hang in there. I considered that advise, but in the end, I followed my own initial feeling, and went ahead and quit. I knew I knew myself better than anyone else. Only I knew the suffering I endured everyday in that job. People who advise can never completely be in my shoes. Yet, I thank them all for their care anyway.When it comes to needing advice on real life issues, do people actually utilize the advice?
yup
some people use the advice to confirm some suspicious thoughts they were having, or to support their point of view.


and others just need that advice to stick to it cz they are lost.


that is sooooo normal! u just give them the advice from deep heart.
to me, advice is not about what to do. it is more about what others think i should do. i use the advice i get to add to my pros%26amp;cons list in my head, i don't ask for the advice so that i can do what they tell me to do, but if i think the advice is good enough, i'll probably be persuaded to do it.


but not everyone's the same, i know some people who ask for advice, get the same advice from many people and still don't follow through.
I think its just for comfort or reassurance that what they are thinking is correct but are too afraid to go ahead with the advice you given. thats what i think as I recently asked someone for advice to make sure what I was thinking was correct just for reassurance but i dont plan on going ahead with the advice!