Hey guys,so i decided not to have sex until i get married.i havent done anything besides hugging and kissing.for my 18th birthday my bf wants to go down on me.i want to allow him to fo it but im not sure if i should.my question is,is havin oral ex done on u a sin and will i still be considered a virgin if i do this..plz add additional comments...thanks guysI need serious advice this is life and death plz???
You should stick to your promise you made to yourself, and DON'T find loopholes. If he's worth your time, he will understand and wait along with you. Don't do it. You'll regret it, 18 is too young, and this is also a test on the guy. Who knows, maybe he is the one you will be marrying? Save yourself for your true love on your wedding night, if that is what you think is right. How can you love and be trusted by others if you can't keep a promise to yourself? Good luck and God bless, if I may say so, I agree with your first choice. But everyone is different, and that is another life lesson!I need serious advice this is life and death plz???
You're so welcome, and thank you for making my day. I enjoy knowing I helped people. :) Oh, and happy birthday! Many more happy and *pure* years to come! ;) Report Abuse
No sin and you will still be considered a virgin.
Sexual contact is sexual contact, and often goes a lot farther than you intend. What do you think your Pasteur would say on the subject? What do the scriptures say? Why ask strangers who may not have the same values you have?
your a prude and your boyfriend is an idiot
If your saving yourself until marriage then I wouldn't do it.
Hi Tiffinie J,
One of the great possible attributes of a strong happy marriage is the physical one-ness that can be achieved by a life-long committment with your husband. To the extent that you have physical or mental sexual activity with other men your ability to achieve the highest possible one-ness with your husband will be compromised.
Do you want to sacrifice your future possiblities within marriage at this point?
You need to trust God who created you to know what is best for you. He only wants your ultimate happiness. Sex outside of marriage is adultry and adultry is one of the 10 commandments. If we love God we will not knowingly break His commandments even in our thoughts and He will help you to be strong if you ask Him to and trust Him to. God's way is best.
yes it is a sin and you will not be considered a virgin, but even if it doesnt matter for you if it a sin or not that will still mess up the fact that you want to wait till you get married think about it why do we always wear white on the wedding day because white means sexual untouched and innocent i think after you do that you wont be a virgin whether it oral or the other way same thing
ORAL SEX , YOU WILL LOSE YOUR VIRGINTY ..
Ha ha ha ha ha, life and death. Okay. Serious advice? You have definitely come to the wrong source. The only answers you will get here are either pervs trying to hear about your pussie, or religious zealots trying to make up for their own past indiscretions by ';counseling'; you to not do something that they already did. So take your pick, either advice from perverts or hypocrites and liars. You would be best to discuss this with some one you know and trust.
You have already lusted in your heart and need to ask God's foregiveness!!!!
It doesn't sound like you are truly right with the Lord or that you even want to be.
Who do you love more...your high school bf who will be a distant memory to you in 10 years....or the Lord who will be there for you for all Eternity if only you will stop being such a lustful sinner and start living right?
What's so ';life and Death'; about this question?! That question is NOT critical that it has to be ';life and death';!!!
And I'm not answering that question either!
Look, it is a sin either way unless you are married. It's a sin of your boyfreind also. If you look unto to a woman with lust you've already commited adultery with her in your heart. This is a commandment. If you are still in need of help on this please go to this link and listen to what is said on here. These guys are awesome and not boring to listen to either. I wouldn't send it to you if I thought you'd be bored to tears.
This is a life and death question? Can tell you are still very young. No, having oral sex will not lose your virginity....that is whole idea of being a virgin...no intercourse...and since oral sex is not intercourse then you would still be technically a virgin. As far as if it is a sin....I would say no but it really matters on what you feel. Here is an after thought for you, if he performs oral sex on you is he expecting the same in return from you? Probably should ask before hand....
Even if it is a sin... and the Bible speaks about sex being for married men and women... Christ forgives an honest and earnest heart. If you're writing yahoo.com for advice, I think that it is pretty clear that you are conflicted and don't want to do it really. If he loves you he understands your faith and your dilemma. Maybe he's not able to love you as maturely as you need him too. God Bless.
you are a bad sinner
Let him do it, but he will expect the same in return.
Are you ready for that?
Good luck, and God bless.
Bad spelling is a sin.
But what is your final goal? you may ask for it? That will clearer,will emerge slowly but surely,much as the rough draft turns into a sketch,and the sketch into a painting through the serious work done on it.Do you like to paint yourself as a virgin if you do so with your b/f?If you are going to school/college is for what?- just to learn something is that right.So what if you like to learn about it and admire it,nothing wrong or a sin it's a kind of learning a subject.
It doesn't matter, because after he goes down on you you're gonna feel so good he'll be able to talk you into the real deal. If you're foreal about remaining a virgin until marriage, don't even tempt yourself by getting into any type of sexual situation.
NO you will not be considered a virgin
The bible makes no mention of oral sex, so you can do whatever you want and be okay with the bible.
Saliva can cause women to have yeast infections, but other than that, there's no harm done so long as you make sure his tongue is really his tongue.
This is hardly a life and death question.
Virgin meaning hymen in tact, yes. If you are of the Christian faith, it is a sin to have premarital relations.
Blessings )O(
yes you are a virgin, also he is standing on third base and you know he is going to try and make his way home. I think that it is great that you want to wait until you get married If he loves you.
He will respect your wishes
IF YOU HAVE TOLD HIM YOU WANT TO WAIT UNTIL YOU ARE MARRIED TO HAVE SEX AND HE CONTINUES TO PUSH IT--HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU
This is a question you need to ask Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinski about.
If it's THAT serious, why are you asking HERE, of all places?
Virginity is a term used to describe what a person has when he or she has not yet engaged in sexual intercourse. A person who still has his or her virginity can accordingly be described as being a virgin. In broader usage of these terms, they can characterize a state of unimpacted purity. This purity can be based around something's contents, such as a margarita being described as virgin when it lacks alcohol, or around a lack of experience, such as a player of bingo being described as virgin when he is a newcomer to the game. In other contexts, these terms can apply to someone who has not engaged in sexual activities in general, and anal virgin can apply to someone who has not engaged in anal sex (usually in the receiving role).
With the standard usage of these terms (where the state of purity is thought to come from a lack of sexual intercourse), they have been more commonly applied to women than to men, both historically and in many present-day situations. In fact, the terms traditionally were used to simply describe a female unmarried person or a young girl (lat. ';virgo, virginis';, as an opposite to ';vir'; meaning ';man'; or ';husband';). However, applying them to men as well has become common in modern times, as the word ';maid'; lost currency in reference to men. During the Middle English period, the word ';maid'; referred to a person, whether male or female, who had never been married or sexually active. Geoffrey Chaucer, for instance, used that word in reference to Christ and St. Paul.
The status of virginity is respected and valued in certain societies, particularly when there are religious views regarding sexual conduct before marriage. A woman who is a virgin can also sometimes be referred to as a maiden, although women who are simply unmarried can be referred to as maidens as well.
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Physiology
Among human females, the hymen is a membrane, part of the vulva, which partially occludes the entrance to the vagina and which may be physically torn when the woman first engages in sexual intercourse. Hymens vary in thickness, shape, and flexibility. The presence of an intact membrane is often seen as physical evidence of virginity in the broader technical sense. The absence of one, however, is not necessarily an indication of participation in sexual intercourse, since in some women the hymen is either absent from birth, or sufficiently vestigial not to be affected by sexual penetration. Also, the hymen can be broken before a woman engages in sexual intercourse, for example during strenuous exercise or during the insertion of a tampon, though this is unlikely. Conversely, in rare cases a woman's hymen is imperforate, and as menstrual discharge cannot then escape, surgical intervention to break it is necessary to protect her health.
In some cultures, women are not regarded as virgins after a sexual assault, but some people disavow this notion. There are also those who take this ';spiritual'; concept of virginity to its maximum, considering ';born again virgins'; to be virgins, regardless of their past sexual conduct. However, the word ';chastity'; is often used in this context rather than ';virginity';.
In males, there is no physically visible indicator of virginity; however, there may be social indicators, such as possible sexual anxiety and a lack of sexual knowledge.
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In culture
Female virginity is closely interwoven with personal or even family honor in many cultures. Traditionally in some cultures (especially those dominated by Christianity, Islam and Judaism, as also Hinduism and the other Indic religions) there has been a widespread belief that the loss of virginity before marriage is a matter of deep shame. In some cultures (for example the Bantu of South Africa), virginity testing is commonplace. This would typically involve personal inspection by a female elder.
Traditionally in Western marriage ceremonies, a veil is taken as a symbol of the bride's virginity; the white dress is also commonly considered a sign of virginity. The extent to which this symbolism is accurate is unclear, given that some women may choose to wear white even if they are no longer virgins. This may even hold true for women who are assumed to be non-virgins (for example, those involved in a second marriage), but the practice is not universal.
Some elements within Western culture no longer regard premarital virginity as a virtue and may allude to it disparagingly. The increasingly-common belief of some Western youth that virginity is not to be regarded as a virtue has become a matter of considerable debate, especially related to controversies involving sexuality among young people. Continuing virginity after a certain age is even regarded by some to be a negative thing, implying that the person is unattractive, prudish or sexually immature.
The philosopher Bertrand Russell, in his book Why I Am Not a Christian, argued that to avoid sexual relationships before marriage was naive and unwise, and that to do so would in the long run lead to far more unhappiness than if sexual activity is engaged in. This is based on the idea that if one is ignorant of sexual desire and fulfilment, one will not be able to distinguish between a deep infatuation and what may be known as true affection, and thus may make an unfortunate choice of partner based upon misconception - a mistake that would not be committed by those aware of the distinction.
Some historians and anthropologists note that many societies that place a high value on virginity before marriage, such as the United States before the sexual revolution, actually have a large amount of premarital sexual activity that does not involve vaginal penetration, e.g., oral sex, anal sex and mutual masturbation. Some refer to this as ';technical'; virginity.
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Loss of virginity
The act of losing one's virginity, that is, of a first sexual experience, is commonly considered within Western culture to be an important life event and a rite of passage. It is highlighted by many mainstream Western movies (particularly films aimed at a teenaged audience). The loss of virginity can be viewed as a milestone to be proud of or as a failure to be ashamed of (particularly if a lack of self control was involved), depending on cultural perceptions. Historically, these perceptions were heavily influenced by perceived gender roles, such that for a male the association was more often with pride and for a female the association was more often with shame. (See Double standard.) However, in recent years in Western culture, the influence of gender roles has weakened so that it is now much more common for females to experience pride, although fathers are still often portrayed as being disapproving of and highly concerned about the loss of virginity for their daughters.
The partner during the loss of virginity is sometimes colloquially said to ';take'; the virginity of the virgin partner. In some places, this colloquialism is only used when the partner is not a virgin, but in other places, the virginity of the partner does not matter. The archaic term ';deflower'; is sometimes used in modern times to also describe the act of the virgin's partner, and the clinical term ';defloration'; is another way to describe the event.
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Religion
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Mythology
Virginity has been often considered to be a virtue denoting purity and physical self-restraint and is an important characteristic of some mythical figures such as the Greek goddesses Athena, Artemis, and Hestia. The Vestal Virgins were strictly celibate priestesses of Vesta. The Maiden or Virgin is one of the three persons of the Triple Goddess in many Neopagan traditions. The constellation Virgo represents a wide selection of sacred virgins.
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Christianity
Medieval Christian society regarded the loss of virginity as sinful, but not the worst of sins. In Dante's Inferno fornicators occupied more comfortable spaces than sinners of violence and deceit. In his Canterbury Tales , Geoffrey Chaucer's Wife of Bath remarks that if virgins are so special, then where do they come from?
Until today, Christian states have or have had laws protecting virginity. Germany abandoned a law (搂1300 BGB) only in 1998 that entitled the deflowered virgin to compensation if the relationship ended. (former) situation in other countries needed
Some Christians today say that virginity indicates a requisite state of holiness in terms of sexuality before marriage. More fundamental Christians believe the New Testament of the Christian Bible forbids pre-marital sex of any form, while life-long celibacy is encouraged (Matthew 19:12). Nevertheless, these ideas are more openly discussed throughout the Old Testament as it is there that most of the rules for Christianity are set, phrases that describe sex as the union of both man and woman in one flesh exemplify how important it is for both sexes to remain celibate until the day they find the right person to share their bodies with.
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Islam
Islam provides very strict conditions that sexual activity must occur only between married individuals. Quotes such as 'Do not even go near Fornication' (Al-Israa 17: 32), are testament to this. While a young bride's virginity has traditionally been very important in Islamic societies, the common practice of divorce and remarriage, even in very traditional societies, means that many women enter marriages having had previous permissable sexual experience. Khadijah bint Khuwaylid, as a forty-year-old widow, was not a virgin when she became the first wife of the Prophet Muhammad; this was not any bar to their marriage.
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Judaism
One of the most fundamental aspects of Jewish tradition is the great significance attached to virginity. It appears in Judaism as early as the verse in Genesis, referring to Eliezer's encounter with Rebekah: 'And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her' (Genesis 24:16) and is a recurring theme throughout the Bible, especially with regard to the laws governing betrothal, marriage and divorce.
However, in practice, Judaism is fairly lenient about sexual relations. Sex is not seen as dirty or undesirable - in fact, sex within a marriage is considered a mitzvah. The more liberal denominations (Reconstructionist Judaism, Reform Judaism, and Conservative Judaism) are relatively open to pre-marital sex: while it isn't encouraged, per se, it is not ignored, either - rules governing sexuality still apply, etc.
This should be all the info you need to make your decision. Personally I say go for it.
(1) yes, it is a sin. You could go ahead and do it, and ask God for forgiveness afterwards. God will forgive you, if you are truly repentant.
(2) You would still physically and technically be a virgin, but spiritually you would not be a virgin because you have been sexually intimate, and have had a form of ';sexual intercourse'; with a male.
(3) This situation would open the door for him to quickly enter you with his penis... opening the door to possible rape, impregnation, sexually transmitted diseases.
You wont be a virgin anymore hun. Oral sex is still sex. Its no different.
you will still be a virgin yes this is a sin and it always leads to something else
Here is a win win situation for you. First, as he snacks on you, just say ';Oh god yes'; and praise the almighty, that makes him happy. Then, remember the bible.';Eye for an eye.'; Go down on him. You will be satisfied and god will be happy.
Oral is more wrong than regular sex.
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