Ultimate life decision for me...advice?

Me and my bf are together now for 3 months. I know he cares so much for me, and I do for him. He's the sweetest thing I've ever had.


My company sent me to UK, gave me place to stay here, and is asking me now to go to the LA for more than 3 yrs. I'll be getting a position, pay raise, a house and a car from the company. I've been brought up in the States, and I love the people.


I like UK, but the weather is horrible and everything is expensive, and the job is not interesting. All I miss is my bf.


If I leave, I feel I'm going to miss something huge. Someone who might have been the one...I never felt this strong.


But if I stay in UK, I must apply for a visa, a job, a place to stay...and English isn't my first language, and I never lived abroad alone. It's going to be a huge huge risk.


I've talked to him. He was surprised. He wants me to stay, but at the same time, he says it's my decision and he'd have to respect my choice...I'm so upset.


What would you do in my situation...? Guys?Ultimate life decision for me...advice?
welcome to adulthood, sad to say it but this will either make you happy or make you nuts.





One hand - boyfriend who may or may not bethe one.








Other hand - Great Carreer opportunity with car - home and get chance to make a successful live for you.





Here is when you MUST be HONEST with yourself :





Ok now stop and look at those two - what will make you happy in the SHORT run ?





What will make you happy in the LONG run ?





If you can answer those question without Hestiation then you have made your choice.





If you speak with your boyfriend and ask him to come with you and he does - GREAT pack your bag and get ready to move , if he wishes to stay in UK and you both think that a LONG DISTANCE relationship will make you happy ok good luck and hope it works.





If he tells you good luck BUTI rather find my own dreams here , you have yet another answer. Communication here is key - you will have ot act fast or the company will give this to another person - Opportunities like this happen VERY RARELY to someone so might want to take the job and tell your boyfriend I love you but this is something I MUST DO FOR ME , sounds like he will understand .


Also sounds like he may be willing ottry the long distance relationship if he does not want to coem wiht.





Speak to him and see if he would mind that.


if not I say CHOICE the job and move to UK - Work Visa right now are allot of paperwork and takes time - you may not find a good place to live either.Jobs may be harder to fidn like thatone.Relationship will be there IF it was meent to be.So I say HELLO NEW JOB !Ultimate life decision for me...advice?
go with your gut feeling
Join ur b/f.U can get another job anywhere.Buh 2 find a guy u feel so strongly abt....u might not get da chance again love conquers all.Good luck
i think you should leave .if it doesn`t work out in the states then you should go back to ur boyfriend at least u`ll be sure u need him other than giving up such an opportunity maybe u might even fing a sweeter guy in the states
I guess youve got to suss out whats the most important thing for you, what u prioritise - good job with money etc, and improving yourself, or missing out on that opportunity to stay in the uk bcos ur bfs there. i can appreciate its a really difficult decision to make. have u asked him to go with you? having been with him for 'only' two months, do u think itll be a long term relationship -what do u want to make of the relationship? will he follow u do u think if u went out there? if u both care for each other, then, and this sounds reli cheesy, but love will find its way somehow, despite that distance. u have to go with both ur gut reaction and common sense at th end of th day.


gd luck, i reli hope it turns out ok.


: )
Id say with the situation at hand you need to follow your heart and move to LA. He is a loved boyfriend...but a boyfriend, not a husband. Its a tough decision but what you should do given the unique circumstances. best of luck.
Ask him if he would be willing to relocate. After only 3 months in a relationship you probably don't know that this is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. So I wouldn't be making decisions that would effect the rest of my life based on this relationship. Sorry. I doubt he will be willing to make life altering decisions based on this relationship either. You can always try a long distance romance.
If it was me i would seriously talk to him about going with you if you think you have found the one. Dont live life with what if's, regrets and maybe's. Try to work out what is going to work for both of you. At the end of the day if you go to LA and he goes with you look at the life change it could be for him the opportunities that he would have to by going.





Hope it works out for you Good Luck
why can't he move with you ? love or money I pick money...
They say abscense makes the heart grow fonder not sure how long this fondness would last but Just think of this...if you stay in the UK you will always wonder of what could of been with the job offer in the US and you might eventually hold it against him. IF he is meant for you, he will be there. To be honest, I cannot really say what I would do because I have never been in that situation. But I am sure you will make whatever decision you feel comfortable with. I wish you luck and nothing but the best.
I would suggest that you live in UK.
I would say to take care of yourself first... YOU should be #1 and your career is your bread and butter. I think you should contemplate that decision without even thinking of the guy. If its meant to be, you guys will find each other again......


Trully.
How about the BF going to LA? Have you discussed that?
3 months is not long enough for you to consider altering your career decisions for. Your job should be the priority in this one. Its a new relationship so everything is still perfect.


Take the job.
Ask him to come with you If he is the one he will. x good luck
live your life!!!!! if a relationship with your bf is meant to be it will be... You have the chance to experience the adventure of a lifetime, if you do not do it for your bf you may one day have a resentment agaisnt him good luck
Don't let the bf be the reason that you leave--if there are larger concerns that are more pressing--like the cost of living, etc, then that is a different story. It is hard living abroad, alone, but the character-building experience you will get out living there is uncomparable. Stick it out.
Continue with the career path pet, you have a life time ahead of you and making strong foundations in your chosen career is best. I'm sure you can meet from time to time and when you do commit to each other it will be so much sweeter.......
Hello there, i would follow your heart on this one,if he really loves you he will go with you,but it really is down to what do you want
Have you asked him to come with you?
would he not consider moving with you? if you stay you will be risking a lot for someone you have not known for a long time. that will put an enormous amount of strain on your relationship.
GO FOR GODS SAKE GO


LIVE A LITTLE AND THEN WORRY ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS


I'LL COME WITH YOU AND SUPPORT YOU THOUGH THE HARD TIME ABOUT A MONTH FOR A HOLIDAY
Tell him, he can visit you here and you go over there in your time off, if you are really interested in this job you have to make a choice, opportunity comes once in a while. It also depends how serious the relationship is.
I would said, if the guy really likes you he will come for you. If the girl can give up so much to be with him, can't the guy do the same? You are a give and he is a taker. Now let turn the around and see what his action will be. Because if he won't come for you, then you know he won't be for you in the future.
Do not stay just for this man because u will end up unhappy and blame him..he could break ur heart and then u r left with nothing...he should b going with u and if he cant then u will find someone else because pretty soon u will have nothing in common with him..ur life is changing big time.
Well I always tell ppl when faced with a- a or b descision to sit in a place that is quiet, take the time to close your eyes and live out each situtation in your mind, then thouroughly look at how each one makes you feel, you may get bad feelings in both situations but which one makes you feel like ';this is right';. there is pro's and cons for each one, but I will tell you, your heart has the right answer and that is the best way to hear it. I really hope this helps
I would GO! 3months is a really short time to decide your life on and if its meant to be it will be. Regardless of where you live. Has he considered going with you?( You could make it work across water if you both feel this way). I think it sounds like too good an opportunity to pass up. Relationships rarely work out jobs do! Ask your heart you know the answer.
First thing to do is take him out of the equation - pretend he doesn't exist. Now, ask yourself if you want to go. In the paradox that you described above, it sounds as if you don't want to go, nevermind that you'll miss him, but that the job is boring and you must live alone and apply for a visa, etc. It sounds like the job is a great opportunity (to me) but if the only great factor is money, then that's not enough. Money will not make you happy and if the job is boring on top of it, then why are you even considering it? Life is too short to be unhappy.





Now concerning the guy, let's bring him back in. NEVER alter you life for a man. Because trust me, he will NEVER alter his for you. Besides, it's only been three months, that's not time enough to know if the relationship is really going somewhere. Take time to get to know him, the real him, and have fun with it. But I definitely would not let him be my sole decision making factor whether to take the job or not.





Good luck with whatever you decide.
My job constantly keeps me traveling so I know what you're going through. I've learned that distance is when the truth about your relationship is really revealed. If you can hold on until you can be together again then you know it was meant to be. It's good that you have to go through this at the beginning of your relationship. I see a lot of people who have been married for years and their jobs take them away for a year. Unfortunately, someone usually ends up cheating. It's good to learn in the beginning just how strong your bond really is. As for the decision of taking the new position or not....what if you don't take it and your relationship ends in a few months? Then what will you be left with?
Well....you need to take the job....its too good to pass over...its not the other side of the world....he could go too....especially if you would be earning more than him....or if he is hesitant to move straight away you could easily have a long distance romance with weekends/ holidays together etc....if you are earning bigger bucks than him you could fly him out...no problem...think of the phone sex!!! 3 years feels/sounds like an age but it is not....give him time to think it over...


good luck!
Well it is indeed difficult since emotions are involved, you should try asking him to come with you. But on the other hand are you ready to give up such a lucrative offer, will another one like that come along. I am sure have worked hard to get to where you are, try to put aside your feelings and take you time before you make such an important decision, there is alot to be gained and also alot to loose.