Friday, April 30, 2010

My past life troubling me...... please advice? thank you.?

hmmmm... i dunno where to begin exctly.. i had this boyfriend long time ago... he was my first love.. and we dated for 5 years.. we were so much in love with eachother and planning to get married.. then one day suddenly he disappeared and after a week of searching, we found out that he had killed himself, since he had trouble at work and had some debt issues... i never knew about this until that point... before he died he had called me, he spoke casually like always.. and said ';i love you.. '; like always.. i wish i had known at that time that he was gonna kill himself... anyways... i was totally devastated and felt responsible for long time...





then i kinda moved on.. and i met my husband 4 years later. we ve been married for 2 years now and we have a baby... i have to say i ve been very happy with my husband..





now recently for about a month or so, we ve been arguing and fighting about stuff like house work... and i should say there have been times when i thought of leavig my husband...





problem is... i ve been having these dreams where i see myself with my late boyfriend.. kissing and making love... and i am so happy and content in those dreams...





i feel and confused.. i love my husband and i donno why im getting these dreams.. he does nt know abt my past. should i tell him ?


i feel like this ll ruin our life.. please advice. thank you.My past life troubling me...... please advice? thank you.?
It normal to dream about a happy time in your life and even being with an old boyfriend when there are troubles in your marriage. Don't worry to much about it, but also don't get too wrapped up in the dreams - they are only triggered by your frustration at your current relationship. Try sticking the marriage out and let go of the small things. Pick your battles and live in the now.My past life troubling me...... please advice? thank you.?
Okay.Hmm....


Okay i'd do this


Tell ur husband.He might be a comfort.It alaso might be a warning.My mother had a dream of her grandma saying come to me infront of her grave.Then,a day later she had a car crash.


So mabey he is cheating on you.DONT SUSSPECT THIS UNTIL U HAVE PROOF.i dought he is though.


I have 0 ideas
I'm thinking it might be time to get some therapy from a professional....
that must have been a terrible blow, and to be honest a bit selfish of your ex to kill himself wen he had people who loved him.


i think u need to talk to your husband and explain what happened and whats troubling you, honesty is the only way to keep a marriage going, it's not like you've cheated on him, he will understand and you both need to talk through your problems and explain if your not happy, then you can work on it together.


as for the dreams, some say dreams show us what we want (its crap), dreams are simply feelings in the unconsciuous that have been locked away, these seem to be have been locked away since your ex died, and in your sleep, your conscious mind isnt as strong and cannot stop thoughts escaping from the unconscious. that is all dreams are, wild, crazy and often weird unconscious thoughtsu didnt know where there. i studied psychology as a degree and found the section on dreams to be most helpful for explaining situations like these.


good luck.
You might want to tell him about the old boyfriend. Maybe he'll become a little more understanding.
I am sorry for your terrible loss.





But, honey, this isn't going to get any better until you finally let go of your feelings for your passed love one. Tell your husband what your going through, but be sure to tell him you love him, too. Just that you're thinking about this other guy and how emotionally crushing that was for you. Let him know that you're not leaving him for the memory of a dead person, and maybe think of counseling?


When my sister is fighting with her husband, she always thinks about whether or not what they're fighting over is a deal breaker. Is the fight worth ending the marriage?


Also, before you leave him, think of your baby. Is this divorce going to mess up your child? Honestly the best thing you can do is focus on your husband now and just do your best to not blame yourself for what has happened in the past.





Live in the now. Focus on the good. Let go of the past. Tell your husband you love him. Hug your child.





All things turn out for the best in the end.
You dnt need to tell him...Because you guys are arguing right now it might not help the situation if you tell him. Its normal to dream about your first love, especially if he died and you guys never broke up; your feelings for him still exist and it is very normal. Good Luck!!!!
I'm sorry to hear about your loss, but I see all of the wonderful things that you have gained. Maybe you feel guilty for being so blessed, which you should not feel guilty. You are not responsible for your boyfriend's decision to take his life. How could you help him if you don't know what's going on? You deserve to be happy and enjoy life. You should tell your husband about the past, he loves you. Let him help. Counseling may be a good idea too.


We were created to heal and go on, be thankful that you did it. You are worth it. :-)
I do not see how these dreams can change the way your life is for now. all your mind is doing is remembering the past when you were happy, this is just your way of getting away from you troubles and feel happy. even if it is just in a dream. some people do this if they have a lot of worry and need to relax. I do not know the situation between your husband, but I do know at times marriage can have its hard times. but this is the same for every one unless there is something wrong that you did not point out. but house work can be boring as well as aggravating at times, but it has to be done. that is just a part of being married. but you do not need to tell him your dreams. I know that when you are married you should share everything. but for dreams are what they are, just dreams as this may be seen as being something personal and does not have anything to do with a marriage. it is just a way for your body to take you away from your troubles and to relax as to rest, such as going on a short vacation at times. so i do not see any point in telling him about your dreams.

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