I'm heading towards another low in my life...need inspiration, and advice.?

Hi there,





I've recently sunk into another slump of depression. I seriously think I have that type of depression that affects me on a daily basis, but I'm still able to function at work, personal life etc. Or maybe I've always been melancholic.





I just called in sick again, it's my 2nd day calling in. I intend to go to work tomorrow, but the past few weeks I've been feeling very disengaged from everyone at work. I don't like sitting with my coworkers at lunch time because the constant small-talk chatter drains me. I often have to force myself to socialize so that people don't think I'm ignoring them (when in fact it would please me if I didn't bother talking to them at all). I prefer talking to people one-to-one, but somehow this never really happens. Everyone is part of the group, and it makes it hard to connect with coworkers.





I don't have the 'lemming' mentality, wherein each group member follows another over the cliff. I'm more of a voluntary loner, with the exception of hanging out with one or two people I can connect with. At work, it is a lonely feeling. I will continue trying to connect with a few individuals I would feel most comfortable with.





It would seem like my workplace has a lot to do with my depression. I also work with a few staff members on my ward who can be demeaning, and demoralizing. One of the physiotherapists I work with can be quite insensitive sometimes, and arrogant. I've observed how he is with other people, and he treats others the same way, so I know it isn't personal. That's just him, but it's effing annoying to me.





Also, everyone at work has a spouse or significant other. I, and another coworker are the only single people here. I feel like a pariah. I can't relate to the couples out there, or the married, or the people expecting a child. Some days are better than others. Sometimes I'll strike up a conversation about something we all agree upon, but that's about it. There's no sincere connection.





Maybe I'm expecting too much out of my coworkers. They are not my friends. If I had a choice, I probably wouldn't have chosen them to work for me because our personalities are so different.





So, essentially my main problem is finding the motivation to go back to work again and again, knowing that I don't fit in, knowing that I feel utterly lonely at work, and I have no drive to continue with it.





Kind and thoughtful words of advice are much appreciated. Thank you.I'm heading towards another low in my life...need inspiration, and advice.?
Oh, how I relate to you. Hearing this from someone else makes me wonder if it is depression or just our personalities. I got an email once I'm going to forward to you but you could try listening to some really good happy music before going in to work. A daily exercise regimen would also be good if you don't do them already. And to just accept that your okay with who you are and that your not very people oriented is okay! Try going into work and look for the positives of being there. My best of luck to you and here is the email.....Sorry its a long one.......








READ THIS LET IT REALLY SINK IN - THEN CHOOSE





John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, ';If I were any better, I would be twins!';





He was a natural motivator.





If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.





Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him, ';I don't get it!





You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?';





He replied, ';Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or ... you can choose to be in a bad mood.





I choose to be in a good mood.';





Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.





Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or... I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.





';Yeah, right, it's not that easy,'; I protested.





';Yes, it is,'; he said. ';Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood.





You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life.';





I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.





Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower..





After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.





I saw him about six months after the accident.





When I asked him how he was, he replied, ';If I were any better, I'd be twins...Wanna see my scars?';





I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.





';The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter,'; he replied. ';Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or...I could choose to die. I chose to live.';





';Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?'; I asked





He continued, ';..the paramedics were great.





They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action.';





';What did you do?'; I asked.





';Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me,'; said John. ';She asked if I was allergic to anything 'Yes, I replied.' The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Gravity'.';





Over their laughter, I told them, ';I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.';





He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude... I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.





Attitude, after all, is everything .





Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.'; Matthew 6:34.





After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.


I'm heading towards another low in my life...need inspiration, and advice.?
I guess while you're sitting on the couch look for another job if you don't like the one you have . I know what you mean not having nothing in common with your co-workers but you aren't there to socialize you're there to work for the people who hired you and when you get done with work go hang out with your friends , people you do have stuff in common with . Do the best job you can so you can get good references when you find another job which are hard to come by so you can put money away to pay bills with. There you go incentive and motivation.
you know what some people treat there job like its high school. clicks and such. maybe they see you as someone who is working hard and wanting to go somewhere with yourself and they feel jealous. just keep busting your tail off and keep doing it in life. im sure your a great person or else you wouldn't be writing on hear. your happiness is the most important thing and dont ever forget that. any time you need to talk im hear. hope this helps