Friday, January 8, 2010

Ever feel so alone? What do you think about my poem? Any advice to make life changes?

People all thru the building


yet I feel so alone


I sit at my desk


My mind wanders into the darkest places


My heart cries out


Searchin the net to silence the beast


Reaching for the friends


typing and waiting


Hoping for quick responses


Something to numb the hurt


Too much time to be idle


my heart aches


my mind deceives me


Religon calls it the devil


my mind knows it's the poison


wishing for drugs to numb


Hoping someone responds


Checking, double checking


How could they not know


I'm drowning in front of the lifeguard


My depression, my loneliness


Only seen as neediness to


Friends and foes that are living life


Partaking in the beauty that


Has been ripped away from me


Wondering what I did so wrong


To have my family gone in an instance


Settling worked for so long


Now I sit lonely and idle


Crying out, checked again no response


They say stick out your hand when your falling


What if noone is there to catch you?


A time when everyone is too busy to deal


Your demons become their burdons


I see their annoyance when i speak and sob


They spew out quick fixes and judge


Wondering why you put yourself thru it all


They don't know I'm doing the best with what I have


Being in a much better place then I


Hard for them to imagine what it's like in my shoes


Checking double checking no response


Emailed an hour ago still no response.


I sigh, looking for more


Yearning for love and acceptance


Wishing to have someone to hold me at night


Hoping for validation to show I'm alive


My daughter is my angel yet she is young


She brings me joy I never imagined possible


At least I have her, but I'm still hoping for more


Feeling so wrong with all of my thoughts


Knowing it's not right and I need to toughen up


Now you have a novel..........Ever feel so alone? What do you think about my poem? Any advice to make life changes?
Lonliness is catastrophic, a foe to be aware,


At times you may feel as if theres not one soul,


In the world who would ever care,


Your heart is heavy, your mind is weak,


As the distance takes it's toll,


On the way you look at yourself,


You begin to lose control.


All at once, the sadness subsides,


In an instant you're back on track.....


Because someone who cares for you,


Places a warm hand upon your back.


You turn to see who the person is,


But your eyes see no one new,


Who was it? you ask yourself....


It's GOD, and he LOVES you.


You'll never be alone in life,


You'll always have a friend,


He's there for you even as you sleep,


From your beginning and past your end.





Hope this brightened your day a bit. SMILE!!!!!Ever feel so alone? What do you think about my poem? Any advice to make life changes?
You have fairly well captured what is otherwise called ';Life';.





None of us will really fill that hole that resides within each of us, that we seek friendships to fill, or acquisitions to fill, or visiting various places to fill... and nothing ever does seem to fill what seems to be missing within us.





What is missing is the acknowledgment of ones Soul. And what makes this so difficult is that ones Soul is composed of a super subtle Energy that ones brain cannot perceive. What makes it even more difficult is that ones MIND actually fears ones Soul as well, because ones MIND cannot perceive the Energy of ones Soul and misperceives it to be a monster hidden within oneself.





Friends, new things, new places, etc., temporarily takes our attention away from this nagging pain that we feel just as soon as our attention returns to oneself.





Does it help to know that this sense of loss or that something is missing is within us to drive us through Life? Not much, right? But how about if you realize that it is your Soul longing for God? And that rather than being a bad or bothersome thing, it is actually a wonderful acquaintance one must make. Learn to live with and use this longing to grieve for God. when you fell this pain of separation smile on the outside [and shed a tear within] and realize that it is God's Love that you are felling... and embrace it with joy.





In the evening, just before falling asleep... allow yourself to fully embrace this longing and loneliness and use it to stimulate a full-on grief for the life you must plow through each day. I have done this for years, and my sleep is sound and my days are a bit lighter because of it.





Peace
Well, don't feel alone, I've been there. I was in high school when my mom finally took me to the dr because she didn't know what else to do, but knew that I was an absolute wreck. He gave me a quiz type thing on paper, and from my answers knew that I was extremely depressed and prescribed Prozac. When I left his office that day I felt like I could breath again, there was an answer as to why I felt the way I did. That was in 1993, and I took it for many years after that. It was a God-send, depression is not always something you can get talked out of, it's a chemical imbalance and until that is fixed, you have no control. It was the best thing for me.


Go to the dr and if he won't listen find one that will, and figure out if something like that would help.
This is exactly how I feel, minus the daughter part (no kids for me yet). I love it.

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