After 24 years of marriage my wife left. Said that she didn't love me anymore and wanted her freedom. I was devastated. To keep busy, I dating casually, telling all who I dated that I just wanted a casual relationship and that I still loved my wife. I dated ';Mary'; for 6 month but our feelings started to get stronger and since I still wanted my wife, we ended our relationship on great terms. A year later my wife filed for divorce %26amp; my feelings for her dwindled and Mary came back in to my life. I was thrilled. I fell in love with Mary and treated her like a queen. 11 months later she left me for someone else. Now after 3 1/2 years my wife wants me back saying she made a big mistake leaving me. I don't love her and I very much love Mary. My wife neglected me most of our marriage and I found out how nice other women are. I want Mary back Although I know she is just a player, I love her. Don't know what I've done to deserve all the hurt I've they have both given me. Thanks.I need advice concerning my love life. Thank you in advance for any advice that I receive.?
Sorry to hear all this. It looks like Mary has moved on with that other person so you should move on too, you can't keep holding on to something forever. And you shouldnt go back with your wife considering she was the one who left you, filed for divorce and neglected you all your marrage. Why would you go back to her?I need advice concerning my love life. Thank you in advance for any advice that I receive.?
remember why you left your marriage, you were neglected! and mary left you for someone else too. I would just look for someone else. I know it is easier said than done, but you have to get these two out of your system and find a better situation for yourself.
Welcome to my world, battered and bruised are our hearts, us men of bliss and givers of love. Why is it we are disrespected and left for greener grazing? They never were satisfied with themselves. They could not appreciate our unconditional pedestal on which we've propped them. They are bound to fall from such dizzying heights of passion. It is them that don't deserve such caring, so they might think. Yet they do, they are precious to us. We live to love them and they are our muse. Yet they don't feel deserving, so they jump down and run away. Kicking over and smashing the stage they were set upon. I have decided in my divorced life that my friendships and my self concern is most important. Love will find me and I will make sure she understands how extremely special I am before we waste any of our time.
Continue to create early bliss!
Forget both of these females.Your wife will dump you again,so you don't want her back. Mary is gone,history.Get over her.Dating is the answer.Meet new ladies,date have a good time.Life is to short to waste it on someone you know will hurt you.You sound like a very nice man.Don't let these 2 dump on you again.
Sounds like you have a problem with letting go and change. Forget about both of them. Your first wife didn't want you when she had you and now that she wants you back, you no longer love her. Duh. Don't even entertain that thought.
As far as the 2nd wife, she, too, has made her choice. Don't just sit around pining for someone who is no longer there. Life is passing you by while you sit around and hope Mary will come back.
Find someone else and put the past where it belongs.
kick them both out. and use women for the only thing they're good for... eventually, somewhere down the line, you'll fine one you really love, and one that will love you back. with out the bullsh^t games.
in all reality, you need to find an older woman... or you need to make more money.
man you need to strap on a set of balls and get rid of both of them and find someone that you want to be with and she wants to be with you, forget that old wife.....once again just another example...all women are crazy....
You are going to need a cart to carry all the luggage these two women bring.
Lets see if this is the timeline for everything: You date Mary and then break up, then Mary comes back only to leave.
The wife hurts you, leaves, divorces you and now has come back?
I have left partners before, only to think maybe I wanted them back, but this feeling was transient. The lack of respect your ex-wife had for you when she told you she didn't love you anymore is still there under the surface.
I would suggest you date some more and find someone that fits you.
i know how u feel, the best thing i can tell u is to keep looking, people that do other people that way will never change, there is the right person out there for you, just take ur time
I think you need some time alone. It sounds like you have some self esteem issues and are looking to other people for validation. If your wife neglected you and Mary is just a player what does that say about you and the type of women you are drawn too? The good thing is that you can change yourself and thus attract the types of relationship that are positive and healthy. Perhaps some good counseling could be helpful too as it is never a good thing to get involved when you are on the rebound.
Don't take the wife back, she'll treat you like $h*t again, because she knows you'll let her!!! Forget about ';Mary';, if she wanted you, she'd still be with you! Take your time and find someone who will make you happy, don't go out there looking for a wife, just have fun, live life, and it'll happen when it happens!!
Well think about how mary felt when u ended it with her because u were in love with ur wife, and she is happy so move on but about ur wife she seems like she only wants you when she cant have u maybe no one else wants her and she is coming back to you because she knows that its safe and she can be with u until she finds some one else trust me she done it once she will do it again
honestly, i feel for your first wife. i made the same mistake she did and i've been trying for almost a year to get him back with no luck. if you don't want to be with her, then just be honest and tell her.
Been there. I ended up letting both go. Why? Because I have a thresh hold for pain that can take almost anything- but do i want to be hurting all the time? Honestly- the way you described your situation- you don't need either of them- except for the guidence they have already given you on figuring out what you want in a partner. Neither has all of what you love, but you now need to figure out the quailites from both and find your third- the charm...
well we could talk about you being a wimp? letting women twist you round there little fingers?? but i'll say this
if you ex wife is willing to ';give it up'; take advantage of it and make sure you do all the kinky things you can think of! (if you want some ideas drop me a line) when you can't walk straight any more your eye sight is fading and there's no ,bar, brothel , strip joint , swingers club,dungeon, seedy hotel, adult shop,or small claims court that doesn't know you by name, dump her!! but get some photo's/vids to put on the net first
that show the b*tch and you'll have had the time of you life win/win!
Stay single and play the field until you find a woman that asks you to marry her.
First of all my heart goes out to you first your wife left you because she didn't love you anymore, than you met Mary whom you dated for 7 months and broke off because you still loved your wife is that right. A year later your wife filed for a divorce and you went back with Mary and fell in love with her
than she left you for someone else, now your wife has come back talking about she made a mistake for leaving you but you don't love her, your wife neglected you most of your marriage. Now you want Mary back even though you know she is a player look you are to good for the both of them and you will find someone that will appreciate you someday.,
In time your heart will heal.
Best of luck
Why don't yopu take a vacation or some timne alone. Get a good therapist and figure it out. Good luck. Follow your heart. What about dropping both, get your head straight, and you will meet the perfect person. You are not defined by who you date or love!
I know what you've done to deserve it. You fall in love with people who treat you like crap and then play victim. (Remember, you asked)
What is there to love about a woman who plays you or plays games bouncing back and forth? Absoluately nothing.
You seriously need to go to counseling to figure out why you're falling in love with women who treat you like dirt.
First of all, don't tell the women you date you just want a casual relationship. It looks like Mary took you at your word and gave you just that.
It's not so much what you are doing as who you are doing it with. You have created a pattern of choosing the wrong typpe of women. Here's an idea that's way out there (or not). Do you have a really close friend who knows you and knows what you've been through. Ask them to fix you up with someone like the person THEY think would be good for you. I bet the woman is nothing like the ones you choose. It would give you an opportunity to see who else is out there and to discover a different breed of women.
Couldn't hurt.
First off I would like to start by saying I'm sorry that you have been hurt, it's an awful situation to be in when you love someone so deeply, and especially for as long as you have been married, that has to really hurt for someone of 24 yrs. to get up and leave. That just has to be hard.
But lets analyze this really. Your wife left you after 24 yrs. and you were still in love with her. You got w/ Mary after you knew you wouldn't have strong feelings for her b/c you were still madly in love with your wife. Do you think that was right for Mary? No.. it wasn't because you had her come in a realationship with you that you were not into b/c you were still in love with your wife so there for you ended things with Mary, which was a good thing to do instead of letting her go on with something that wasn't there.
Then your wife wanted a divorce, that hurt u i'm sure and made you angry. So you went for comfort which was Mary. But I don't know for sure but maybe Mary was falling for you when you guys broke it off, and you hurt her, and she felt like the rebound woman, so she found someone else.
Now your wife is back, and to me I see it's just a game these woman are playing with your heart, which is not far to a woman nor a man. So my advice would be to forget about both of them. Move on with your life, and go out there and find someone that you can give your love and heart to and they can return the love back faithfully.
Good Luck, and I hope things work out for you. A broken heart is a hard thing, but here are some words to live by.
My fave quote that makes a lot of sense.
'; It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never been able to love at all';
Obviously, you are a good man, and there are still good women out there. If Mary cheated on you...shame on her, if your ex wife left without any consideration other than being bored...shame on her. My advise for you is to stop depending in others to be happy. Maybe you need to give yourself more attention. Hey, you are single...enjoy your life.
try not to look for another relationship. Try to heal yourself, first. MAKe yourself whole . the rest will follow
I think you might give your ex-wife another chance to see if she's really found out how good she had it with you. People can change when they've been kicked around enough by life for a few years.
It's impossible for you to know what you want with all the comings and goings you've been through the last few years. Look for someone who will cherish your heart. Take your time.
I had a dream last night that I was surrounded by a million women and they all suddenly turned to stone. Maybe that isn't far from the truth...
Stay away from both of them.
Ok. Mary was the first person you were with since your wife of 24 years. I'm not questioning your feelings for her, I believe that you do feel that you love her. Keep in mind, that, and I say this with love, you don't know WHAT you want. How could you? Your were married to the same person for 24 years. You have A LOT to figure out for yourself. I know it hurts. And I know you have been through a lot. And I'm sure your wife wanting you back is not as satisfying as you thought it would be when you were first going through this. Try to look at Mary as an experience. She was there to teach you something. Maybe she was there to carry you through the hard time, maybe she was there to comfort you when you most needed it. Whatever it was, whatever you meant to each other, appreciate it for what it was. You have your life to figure out now. If there was one Mary, there is going to be many more. And it's ok that Mary moved on. You may move on from someone else. The most important thing is to get the lesson from that person, that lesson will bring you to the next part of yourself. You will continue to evolve into yourself figuring out who you are, who you want to be, who you don't want to be, until you find your real Mrs. Right.... Good luck..
Mary may have just done this because sh was mad at you for leaving her at the mear prospect that your wife was comming back, and she may just want to give you a taste of your own medicine, i am not saying that for sure.
Don't get back with your wife, the damage has beend one that's over... stay strong...
I suggest it you really LOVE mary, do something completely embarassing and romaticew to win her back.
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